Today is the lowest I have ever been in 2013 — physically and mentally. 

Physically : Even though I have been going crazy on vitamin C after sleeping 3-4 hours daily since the beginning of the week, I just couldn’t hold up. The vitamin C didn’t help. Had to skip the final day of the ALAPP conference because of a fever + sore throat + raging headache upon waking up and hello there period. You were supposed to arrive 10 days  later, not today. A quick check with a few girl friends confirmed that yes, one does start an early period under stress. This hurts. 

Mentally : For some time now I have been waking up in a state of panic. Yesterday was the worst. I had a nightmare, and upon waking, rushed out of the room to look for a friend (who was in the dream). Not okay. Also, I’m pretty demotivated even though my self-set deadlines are looming closer and closer. I really have to wrap everything up for good. I need to. 

Things have been surprisingly great. But stressful. The ALAPP conference was good. And since I looked so beaten up, I had to use make up to look halfway decent. I met many new people. Dr David Yoong and Dr Kuang broached questions on my parameters which help me rethink how I’m putting them out.  

I’m sending Michelle texts like “I don’t wanna live” and for some reason she’s not being her usually razor-sharp-witted self and responding with “You do.” 

I wish this would go away soon. Like really soon. Such an energy vampire.